why this blog is like the sopranos

no new posts show up for months at a time...! plus, both are based in jersey - and take pleasure in exploiting jersey stereotypes. ladies and gentlemen, i believe we have a segue!

so we're back. fahgeddabowtiht.

Self-serve?

proof that you learn something new every day: new jersey is apparently one of two states in the entire U.S. that does not allow you to pump your own gas. there's no self-serve!

which explains the surly guy who restled the gas nozzle out of my hand like a father bear protecting his young.
what did he think i was going to do, drink it?

helsing or hanks?

while we're on the sopranos...

people spent the good part of this season referring to anthony as "van helsing". funny. but i ask, was this the prototype haircut for tom hanks in the da vinci code? i'm definitely getting a hanksian feel from it. maybe it's a stylist conspiracy.... so dark the coif of man :)

tracksuit of the week - back after a brief hiatus

in commemoration of the sopranos season finale, i have bestowed the tracksuit of the week honor upon a celebrity guest. a standout, in tracksuit couture. a rebel, known for his love of nylon/poly blends, who embraces the piping and gratuitous zippers on those shiny pants with gusto. that's right, folks:

give it up for pauly walnuts.

tracksuit of the week

for this week's installment, we have a special treat. if you live outside of the midwest, you may never again set your sights on this rarest and most elusive of tracksuit species:

the matching tracksuit couple.






(or, maybe they're just casting stormtroopers for the next star wars movie.)

the secret language of sleep.

apparently, this is my ideal sleeping position.

Find your own pose!

the greatest thing since sliced...

...peanut butter? while i am having a very strong reaction to this product, i am honestly unsure as to whether i love this idea or hate it. on the one hand, it rules the "chunky"option out, altogether. and i am quite passionate about chunky peanut butter. but, i suppose it makes the otherwise unbuildable "elvis sandwich" a bit easier to construct. yeah, definitely.

survey says: love it (but, will never personally use it) damn you chunky peanut butter - you've ruined all others for me!

tracksuit of the week

a new jersey award, if ever there was one.
and the honor goes to:

"guy doing the 'robot dance' in sears ad"

awesome!

gee, your hair smells like...a commune?

can i ask why, when i spend $25 on a bottle of salon shampoo, it has to smell like eau de 1967? if i wanted my hair to take on the overpowering essence of cloves and patchouli, i'd jump into a vw van and be done with it. flowers. citrus. these are things i like my hair to smell of. not hippie ass. thank god i didn't have an interview that day. they probably would've given me a random drug test. i'm glad i got that out. i feel much better now.

the minima template

this sparse, white, aptly-named "minima template" is probably not the best choice for a blog entitled "ohmygodiliveinjersey". but there apparently is no velour option here.

okay, maybe that's a bit harsh. there are some very nice things about new jersey. but being a homesick massachusetts girl, i find myself focusing on jersey's more negative attributes. so i'll say upfront that this is more about missing home than, dissing where i currently live. and it is made worse by the fact that i used to live in the middle of manhattan. which didn't stink.

not that the name of this blog is necessarily negative: "ohmygodiliveinjersey" could be a positive statement. for example, i would imagine one might utter "ohmygodiwonagazilliondollars" upon winning the lottery. the "ohmygod" part could be an excited, happy response to something, right?

i mean, sure, people say things like, "ohmygodi'mbleeding", and "ohmygodthissucks", but those are certainly not your only "ohmygod" options.

now that i've sufficiently beaten this to death, i promise that my next post will be a rundown of things that i like about new jersey. well, maybe not my next post. but soon. trust me, it's coming!